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- Now, I'm begging you not to be a little retard and become scared because there are NO pictures on this page, that's right...NONE! Just calm down and read because below are some of the greatest and funniest quotes that have ever been heard!
After being bored to death (is that really correct English?...Oh well...) in a Food class at school, I just suddenly came up with this. I immediately wrote it down and it has become so famous that it's actually made it to this page on topsh*t!
To be 100% honest I haven't got a clue who said this, but it's just saying the truth, say it 18, 000, 000 times and see how hilariously funny it becomes.
Now, for some of you: that's probably the longest thing you've ever read...but it's great! I believe it's in a book by one of the greatest writers of all time - Charles Bukowski.
I believe that someone created a book with George W. Bush's greatest ever quotes, and this is one of them! How can a guy like that be the single most powerful man in the world???
Just basically great! From the hugely popular Grand Theft Auto III from one of the radio stations called "Chatter Box" I believe.
Well it's true isn't it?!
That is basically the explaination for people like myself + friends, Bam Margera and various other people do extreme things that other people view as non-sensicle. I believe this is a quote from a man named Kevin Spacey.
It's true, but how do people come up with this kind of stuff...it's gold I tell ya, GOLD! Say this slowly in a French accent, or whatever suites you best if you're blonde and then laugh at how great it sounds. This quote is taken from "The Day Today", a BBC comedy news type thingy.
Being serious for a moment: this isn't really how you should live, but it just appears some people do and I thought I'd put it up here! I remember this from a quote from Bobby "The Brain" Heenen who was a great colour commentator for World Wrestling Entertainment when Hulk Hogan was young-ish and instead of the F getting out, it was get the F in! Did any of that make sense...badger!
Obviously not true, but imagine this: Someone who you've never spoken to before in your life walks up to you (this was in school) and says this, then walks off with a completely straight face! What else can I say...you just had to be there!
A great chat-up line one of my friends made up. You should rpobably only ever attempt this when you're drunk so the slap that hits you on your cheek doesn't hurt too much.
Whilst on a sunny, sunny-ish rainy holiday in Cornwall I purchased a little book of Chocolate quotes, one of the quotes is what you see above. The amazing thing is that it's 100% true!
Now if you're not into skateboarding then that will probably mean nothing to you, if you are into skateboarding you will probably hugely confusde as to why this is a quote and you're probably wondering what the moves actually do (horsey, etc.). Well it's basically a move/combo that I believe would rule if done of a half-pipe or huge ramp. I call it the "Tarquinator" (extremely original)...NOTE: Don't even ask how you perform a horsey or octopus, it's just too damn complecated to explain.
When you see a tough person walking down the street, what do you usually say about them? Well above is another saying you can add to that list. Made up by a friend.
My and a friend called "Carl" (carlnewton.vze.com) were listening to a discussion (or having one ourselves...I can't quite remember) about the glass half-full/half-empty thingy. Carl just suddenly came out with this line. I'm not completely sure whether he'd heard it somewhere before or not...but it's great anyway.
Say this in an American army voice really loud and apart from attracting a few dodgey looks you should get a few laughs. By the way, it was made up by ME.
I think I made this pathetic excuse of a quote up...but hey it's my f*cking website!
Read the above.
Some woman said that me and a few friends were ruining her child with our vocabulary (I have no f*cking idea what the f*ck's wrong with that stupid stuck-up, cunt faced mother-f*cking slut, whore...). So I replied to her comment with the above line, it just came out. She responded by walking back into her house in defeat or because the microwave had given off a little DING to signify that her dildo was at the correct temperature.
Another one of my friends dodgey chat-up lines which could resort to a slap in the face.
So I'm in school, getting extremely bored when I read on someone's bag what I think says, "Tredmills suck!". So I've been saying that for ages now, it's even written across my bag and many low-class songs about desroying tremills have been created. Apparently it said, "Trendies suck"...but what you gonna do?
I'm not sure if this is supposed to be Chinese or Japanese but it just gets over the fact that chop-sticks are the single most annoying thing to eat with, I think I'd do better with a chainsaw soaked in hydrocloric acid!
Just something I came up with, tremendously funny.
My friend was singing the lyrics to a Slipknot song quite badly, and I mistook what he said as, "I'M ALL INSIDE A TREE!" This has been made into a little song (I hopefully will get a piece of audio onto this page relating to the song ASAP), other lyrics have included, "I'M ALL INSIDE A TREE, BUY ONE COUPON GET ONE FREE!"...Which is totally f*cked up because you don't buy coupons anyway!
This is just a tremendously funny quote from a professional wrestling editorial at randomwrestling.com